Sit on Your Hands
You know when you are in that state where someone says or does something and your first instinct is to react? You react in a way that they will get defensive and then the two of you get into the back and forth of proving yourselves right. What if you sat with it for a bit? What was the reaction that happened for you? Where did it hit inside you? Perhaps a more vulnerable part of you got triggered and you want to react to quickly protect that piece in you that hurts that you don’t even understand in the moment.
When you walk away from an interaction with someone that doesn’t really feel good and makes you want to defend yourself or lash out at another person, it’s an opportunity for you to see what is being triggered for you. You can take a little time to see what is coming up for you and how you would like to address it and respond to it. Love that piece of you that is wanting to be defended. Take the time to honor it.
If you give yourself a chance, you might be able to address the situation with more compassion for yourself and the other person. Look at what is yours and what is not. Look at what is true for you. When you start to get into the space of instant reaction and say something right away, you don’t even give yourself a chance to feel it, think it through, resolve it for you. You immediately get into the right/wrong dance and it takes even longer for it to unfold.
What if instead of getting into the long texting arguments back and forth or bristly interactions, you pause and sit on your hands? Say nothing, walk away, don’t text back. Take the space and let it unfold for a bit. You might be surprised that by honoring yourself by giving yourself the time and space you need. The other person might even take the time as well to draw their own conclusions or to acknowledge their behavior. The magic happens in the space that you give. When given the opportunity, sit on your hands! Walk away from the tension and allow it to unfold to the point where you can see clearly and you might see that you don’t need to react, or that you can approach the issue with more clarity and compassion. You have the power inside of you to resolve anything that comes up when you come from a calm, thoughtful, vulnerable place.